Another year over
It's customary at the death's end of a year to look back over the months past, and to measure the distance since that last raising of hopes at the deepest point of winter. I'm usually the type to indulge a near-term nostalgia, but this year I'm feeling less inclined to rise to the inspection. In a way, it's simpler not to think too hard about it. Highlights of 2005 were, in no particular order: birth of my nephew; my visit to New York; my Audi; moving back into my flat; sculpture class. Lowpoints were, again in no particular order: going back to my old job; getting turned down at interviews; dropping my forbidden affections; getting busted for speeding.
It's also fairly normal for me to look ahead to the turning of the year and groan. Like birthdays and anniversaries, these calendar milestones just put me in a mood about where everything is and how I never seem to be satisfied. This year, ironically, I'm not feeling as pessimistic as I normally do. When I do go back to work next week, I know that it'll be about 6 weeks remaining before I get the hell out of that project, which ain't too bad. I'm booked to go skiing with the guys in March. I have a few interviews lined up for January... so there are things to look forward to.
Will 2006 prove to be a better year than 2005? Obviously, this is something that cannot be answered right now. What I can say is that the perception of a year as "good" or "bad" becomes more and more vague as time goes by. I guess it's because life becomes more complicated. At 19, it's all about studies, girls and the future - the risk-reward framework, social networks and the economics are fairly manageable. At 29, there are so many conflicting concerns, so many things falling into the mix - things like tax, career prospects, pressure to get married and settle down, work-life balance, the need to do something worthy, and the sense that time to fulfil one's dreams is continually draining away. It's important, however, that you don't let that stop you from still reaching for it - you have to keep reaching for it, otherwise we'd all end up suiciding eventually.
It's also fairly normal for me to look ahead to the turning of the year and groan. Like birthdays and anniversaries, these calendar milestones just put me in a mood about where everything is and how I never seem to be satisfied. This year, ironically, I'm not feeling as pessimistic as I normally do. When I do go back to work next week, I know that it'll be about 6 weeks remaining before I get the hell out of that project, which ain't too bad. I'm booked to go skiing with the guys in March. I have a few interviews lined up for January... so there are things to look forward to.
Will 2006 prove to be a better year than 2005? Obviously, this is something that cannot be answered right now. What I can say is that the perception of a year as "good" or "bad" becomes more and more vague as time goes by. I guess it's because life becomes more complicated. At 19, it's all about studies, girls and the future - the risk-reward framework, social networks and the economics are fairly manageable. At 29, there are so many conflicting concerns, so many things falling into the mix - things like tax, career prospects, pressure to get married and settle down, work-life balance, the need to do something worthy, and the sense that time to fulfil one's dreams is continually draining away. It's important, however, that you don't let that stop you from still reaching for it - you have to keep reaching for it, otherwise we'd all end up suiciding eventually.
posted by nickwong8 at 11:50 pm
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