I would never laugh...
I saw Abby's list of songs she likes to sing drunkenly into her pillow, and was moved to write about my own experiences of singing drunkenly - mostly in an effort to get laid.
Since Maverick and Goose burned "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" in Top Gun back in the Eighties, it has become a cliche. Hackneyed as the idea may be, in my erstwhile experience, singing drunkenly to a similarly drunk girl can be the best thing to make a long night of it. Horizontally, if you know what I mean... (wink, wink - better than wank, wank, right?).
Drunken singing was once effectively my pulling technique - I had neither the soulful baritone of a Barry White nor the falsetto of a Jeff Buckley. But I could belt them out with the best of them.
So, unlike the wet rags weeping silent poetry into their glasses, when I wanted to get into a particular girl's underwear, I would get myself mashed and then launch into a heartfelt yell of musical lust.
Hence, I disclose to you my top 5 favourite songs to sing to the willing girl, be it successfully or in failure:
"End of the Road" by Boyz II Men
(Success factor: 10. She fell into my arms, we forgot the limits of youth, and left our teenage years behind. I was only 19. Still the ultimate seduction song)
"If I Ever..." by SHAI
(Success factor: 8. I found that ladies love the line that goes, "I just want to be the one to serve you / Sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve you".)
"Foxy Lady"
(Success factor: 7. Works for chicks who have a thing about their looks - outright declaration of the purely physical attraction, animal, pheromonal...)
"Do you realise?" by Flaming Lips
(Success factor: 5. Almost worked once. Failed otherwise.)
"Wonderwall"
(Success factor: 4. I have a spot for this song - it defines my first year at university, and my realisation that maybe Oasis wasn;t the best music to try it with a girl)
Ah, sweet memories of the nineties and the turn of the century... Makes me think about that Howard Stern skit, where he made a woman climax by getting her to straddle a HiFi speaker and then mumbling into a microphone. Now, if I ever get to work out that audioblogging thing...
Since Maverick and Goose burned "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" in Top Gun back in the Eighties, it has become a cliche. Hackneyed as the idea may be, in my erstwhile experience, singing drunkenly to a similarly drunk girl can be the best thing to make a long night of it. Horizontally, if you know what I mean... (wink, wink - better than wank, wank, right?).
Drunken singing was once effectively my pulling technique - I had neither the soulful baritone of a Barry White nor the falsetto of a Jeff Buckley. But I could belt them out with the best of them.
So, unlike the wet rags weeping silent poetry into their glasses, when I wanted to get into a particular girl's underwear, I would get myself mashed and then launch into a heartfelt yell of musical lust.
Hence, I disclose to you my top 5 favourite songs to sing to the willing girl, be it successfully or in failure:
"End of the Road" by Boyz II Men
(Success factor: 10. She fell into my arms, we forgot the limits of youth, and left our teenage years behind. I was only 19. Still the ultimate seduction song)
"If I Ever..." by SHAI
(Success factor: 8. I found that ladies love the line that goes, "I just want to be the one to serve you / Sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve you".)
"Foxy Lady"
(Success factor: 7. Works for chicks who have a thing about their looks - outright declaration of the purely physical attraction, animal, pheromonal...)
"Do you realise?" by Flaming Lips
(Success factor: 5. Almost worked once. Failed otherwise.)
"Wonderwall"
(Success factor: 4. I have a spot for this song - it defines my first year at university, and my realisation that maybe Oasis wasn;t the best music to try it with a girl)
Ah, sweet memories of the nineties and the turn of the century... Makes me think about that Howard Stern skit, where he made a woman climax by getting her to straddle a HiFi speaker and then mumbling into a microphone. Now, if I ever get to work out that audioblogging thing...
posted by nickwong8 at 8:48 pm
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