Holds barred

Frustration abounds. I am finding my experience of the not-for-profit sector demanding in its need for adjustments in style. The professional culture I have been schooled in whilst part of the corporate environment is clashing with the correctness of the voluntary sphere. It would appear a natural contrast - people join the voluntary sector because they are good people, with good intentions and are, largely, sensitive enough to follow conscience instead of the pound signs. This sensitivity creates etiquette, and people play out politesse and non-confrontation as par for the course. Against this civility and behavioural protocol, I am blunt and unaccommodating. My desire to serve the altruistic cause is competing with the conditioned tendency to aggressive, capitalistic bloodlust. Usually, in the mode of work, I aspire both to brass-knuckle results focus and to machinal efficiency - objectives, immediacy, process, strategy... there is no time for waste. I try to do it with a smile, but I submit my dedication exclusively to the task - as though in worship - and I expect similar from my team.

In the voluntary sector, I'm struggling to maintain the elaborate etiquette of deference. Sometimes, in meetings, I detect reticence and an avoidance of difficult issues, especially when people's feelings are at stake. At times, I feel deep compassion for the accommodation that this emotional engagement brings, but then the docile ground founders. My instinct is to be direct - not with intention to hurt, but in expectation that emotion is suspended when discussing the issue, so as to reach the answer. To divorce the passion, so that rational thought can take stage. There have been moments recently where this has been taken for insensitivity, and I have been perturbed at the thought that to some my words may have barbs.